Let’s be utterly honest with ourselves fellow teachers... Isn’t our job description taking a whole lot of chaos and magically turning it into some form of clarity?!
The words “chaos to clarity” symbolizes so many aspects of who I am as a teacher and a human being. It represents the overwhelming feeling I have each time my students and I are working together to reach the next level of understanding a concept that seems impossible to master. Each time we break through the seemingly impossible invisible wall of understanding, through a lot of time and energy, we conquer it together and we reach the all mighty level of clarity (aka the students each have their own “ah ha” moment!).
Far too often, I find myself willingly diving head first into a state of complete chaos. I’m not just referring to my 4th period filled with high school students who are counting down the minutes for the torture of learning to be over for the day. They eagerly wait for the bell to ring so they can text openly and freely without having to ask for a bathroom pass to sneak in a mini texting session with their latest crush. I’m referring to our other life students don’t believe we have (and in all honesty sometimes we forget ourselves), our life outside of school where we frequently find ourselves living life in a different type of vicious tornado of chaos. I’m starting to think I have an addiction to chaos purely based on the fact that I love the challenge of turning any sort of chaotic situation into a manageable and even enjoyable environment.
Perhaps I’m an adrenaline junky.
Perhaps I have a savior complex.
Perhaps I thrive in perceived controlled chaos.
Perhaps that is why I teach.
I am in love with challenges.
Three weeks after I graduated from college with my teaching degree, this Midwestern grown girl decided she had to live in Oregon. Something you will quickly discover about me is that I’m a bit of an outdoor adventure seeker. When I’m not teaching, I’m outside (hiking, backpacking, running, skiing, you name it, I’ll try it). So, of course Oregon sounded like the perfect state to live in and go gallivanting on the weekends around the Pacific Northwest as much as humanly possible.
I packed my bags, hopped in my car with my hairy four legged leading lady and drove from Michigan to Oregon to take the first job I could get half way through the school year as a middle school special education teacher. I didn’t know a soul in the entire state besides my chocolate lab, Jada. I knowingly threw myself into a world of chaos being so far away from my loved ones, but unknowingly became the department head of five special education departments, managed a caseload of over 50 students, taught 5 subjects, and only had one prep all before my 22nd birthday. Can you say recipe for chaos? I’m going to leave you with a bit of a cliffhanger and I will save that full length story for another time. Let just say I did my best to at least mask the chaos as controlled chaos. Gotta love first teaching positions horror stories. How else would we appreciate the good ones?
If you haven’t guessed it already, I’m the teacher at your school that desperately struggles not to take on too much and truly believes my superhero power is that I’m invincible (I understand that that is just a farce dream, but a girl can dream, right?). I blame my lovable parents for constantly telling me I can do anything. So for now, I continue to try to find the balance between taking risks, living life in controlled chaos, and taking the time to find true clarity to discover my own “ah ha” moments.
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